I have gotten better at not thinking of you.
Some days I truly forget about your existence.
Some days I wake up thinking about you... and other days I go to sleep thinking of what could have been.
No, it's not that I want you back in my life. I don't. I'm doing good without you.
I'm moving on.
I am happy.
It bothers me that you still make appearances in my mind.
How long will it take for you to completely leave my mind?
How long will the thoughts of you haunt me?
I've forgiven you without getting an apology. I've deleted you completely from my life and have no desire to ever cross paths with you. But it seems like my mind and I dare even say heart don't appear to be in line with my desires.
Why am I writing this, I honestly do not know.
I've been sitting at the coffee shop writing about the topic of men who cheat and I can't get my thoughts together... because of you.
I am doing this for myself because you don't deserve my time of day and truth be told you've probably long forgotten about my existence.
Which is fine ... because in a way so have I. Maybe I'm writing this as a way to purge my remaining emotions.
Emotions sometimes frighten me. But I am human and I am allowed to feel. Which is why I'm slowly starting to embrace all of them.
I cannot be mad at the fact that you come up to my mind every once in a while... all I can do is ask myself why? and process my feelings and move on.
Shoving emotions away just like avoiding "tough" conversations only leads to bigger conflicts in the long run. So why not just crush it from the start...
If you are like me and truly give your heart away, it takes a while to fully get it back ...
it takes a little longer to forgive...
and even when you thought you'd already forgotten.. it takes a little bit longer to finally erase.
Not because of the other person but because of what you gave. The pieces of you that you shared.. and the parts that you have to accept you'll never get back.
The beautiful thing about love is that you can find it again. You can start over. Time and experiences help you figure out who you truly are and what it is that you're looking for.
Sometimes you can get lucky and find a better version of the love you never knew existed but always wanted.
If you are one to celebrate the day of love, I hope you enjoy it... because you deserve it.
I personally think Valentines day was better when I was in elementary school and I'd get the coolest V-day cards/candy. But I might just be biased.
Love should be celebrated, everyday...!
If you're one of the lucky ones to have the kind of love everyone hopes to find.. cherish it.
I promise you there's nothing out here.
I'm not saying that all of the good guys/girls are taken.... but there is definitely a shortage.
To answer my own question: Do all men cheat?
NO, of course not! Only the idiots do.
PS. Thank you for reading... I hope this post wasn't too weird for you... because if I am being honest it was weird for me to put into words.
From Lima to Puerto Rico
I have an unwritten bucket list filled with places and things I want to do.... and I was extremely close to mentally scratching one of those things out of my list and then BAMMM.
So here's the story of me flying to Peru but never really making it outside of the airport.
Come! Travel with me, I promise you'll be exhausted by day two!
For starters I had just warmed up to the idea of downsizing my overpacking ways to fit everything into a fancy backpack known to hikers as a *rucksack*. Mind you it's a backpack meaning you will (me) have to carry it around everywhere..... I was all in and ready to do this hike to Machu Picchu. I. was. ready.
We started our travels early leaving Minnesota at the peak of sunrise. The flight to Lima was set to depart Atlanta till 5PM meaning we had tons of time to kill. I did minimal walking since I was trying to avoid having to carry my heavy backpack. Eventually 5PM creeped up on us and it was finally time to board ... and lucky for us we got cleared to sit in the fancy Delta One seats which meant we'd finally be able to sleep comfortably for the 6hours we'd be in flight (since the seats lay flat like a bed).
As sooooon as we settled in our seats and minutes away from getting our complimentary mimosas the sweet gate agent comes to speak to us. She tells us she made a mistake and those seats were supposed to go to a family who was ahead of us on the list. We were bumped back to the back of the plane but she left us sitting together ... so we picked up our things and headed to the back to join the commoners. When we got to our seats the two people sitting infront of us were part of the family who took our delta one seats... and to make matters worse she was traveling with two energetic and crying toddlers.
(This first part of the trip should have warned us for future issues to come.... but we were both remaining super positive. After all we were on a plane headed to Machu Picchu, vacation mode was ON and nothing was stopping us.
This is now a good time to introduce my travel partner who I will name Liam (why, because I've always loved that name lol).
It was my first time traveling with Liam and let me just say he's the absolute best travel person out there. The 6 hour flight filled with noisy toddlers and crammed seating was SO MUCH FUN because of him. At one point I spilled my red wine all over his pants and he kept his chill. He doesn't eat meat so he let me eat his chicken and pasta (because I'm always hungry). Overall the flight to Lima was the best part about Lima .... thanks to Liam.
We arrived to Lima at about 1AM. As we waited in the immigration line I went up first to collect my stamp and Liam was right behind me. I made it out to the baggage area waiting for Liam to clear.... minutes started passing and there was no sight of him. I checked the duty free store and still nothing ... I started to get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Soon enough my phone rang and it was him.
They had taken him to a small room and weren't letting him in the country. He was getting sent back on the next flight to Atlanta which I may add left at 2:05AM ... he was getting deported from Lima.
Why? His passport was going to expire in less than 6 months therefore it was not valid.
Ladies and gentlemen... if you did not know this (like us) now you do. Peru and a handful of other countries participate in this. So if you have plans to travel abroad CHECK YOUR PASSPORTS and save yourself the trip.
Where does this situation leave me?
I did not have enough time to check in on the flight Liam was scheduled to leave on so that essentially left me stranded at the Lima airport where I may add had no seating options in the gatehouse area.
Delta only operates one flight out of Lima a day ... so leaving on a Delta flight was not an option. To make matters worse the internet on my phone was fatally slow so I was unable to make flight arrangements for myself.
If I ever wanted to sit and cry anywhere... this was the time and place for me. But I didn't cry. I tried to remain positive. Liam was incredibly helpful using the airplane wifi to book my travel arrangements. Eventually he found a flight through Avianca that would get me to Miami by 3pm. It was my only choice.
By this point I had been up for 24hours....
(are y'all tired yet?)
The flight was set to leave Lima at 10AM and I was at the gate patiently waiting to be assigned a seat (I was still traveling standby but on another airline which means that I am at the bottom of the list when it comes to seat assignments. Meaning that I needed a ton of good luck and for people to not show up).
Based on the luck I had experienced in the last 24hours it wasn't getting any better.
I got up to speak to a nice agent who looked super friendly (we can call him my little angel) he took my boarding pass and was trying to find a way to get me on the flight (he must have seen my sad puppy face or the fact that I was struggling with my oversized backpack) but the man was really trying to help me. I mentioned to him that I was also a flight attendant with Delta and that seemed to make him like me even more.
He disappeared and went down to the airplane and suddenly he was running back up the jetbridge calling my name causing me to rush down to the plane
I WAS GETTING OUT OF LIMAAAA!
Turns out he had spoken to the Pilots and flight attendants and asked if I could sit on the jumpseat since it was a completely full flight.
(the jumpseat is that weird seat flight attendants sit on). Typically we are not able to jumpseat on other airlines.. unless the crew is okay with it. I boarded the plane and everyone was incredibly friendly. It was like getting to your tias house after her not seeing you for a long time. They constantly wanted to feed me and made me feel super comfortable. I'll forever love Avianca for this. However they were all super confused as to why I got to Lima but never actually visited Lima....
I eventually made it to Miami and to my delight Liam was going to meet me there but much later. He got a hotel room near the airport for us and I was finally able to die in my sleep (and shower) after what felt like an eternity.
I have never explored Miami and even though I was sick of airports I knew I didn't want to spend the remaining vacation days there.
The countries we could travel to were limited because of Liams passport. So the idea of Puerto Rico came about. The flight would leave earlier in the day and we could enjoy the beach and good weather.
Cuba was also an option however the flight left much later and we had no arrangements or knowledge of things/places to go. Based on the limited wifi it would have made for a much difficult vacation.
So Puerto Rico it was !
I have already been to Puerto Rico once before so I felt confident in booking our airbnb. That is until I booked it and realized I booked our place on the other end of the island. Humacao, PR.
We were definitely taking L's left and right. But it helped a lot that we kept it positive no matter what. My motto those days was:
"it's fine, it's all fine",
Once we made it to la Isla del Encanto we opted to see if we could get a car rental... easy right? negative. Every single car of all the agencies were booked. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
We had a car booked but we wouldn't have access to it until the next day.
We took a 100$ taxi ride to the other side of the island... was the place worth it? totally!
The location was beautiful. It felt like we were in this utopian world filled with golf carts and amazing properties. They had restaurants, golf courses, a beach, even a church!
This is what exhaustion looks like ....
The taxi driver gave us a million tips of things to do see and he told us about the giant street festival going on the next day in Old San Juan. He also gave us his number incase we needed him again.
The first night we opted to stay in our utopian airbnb world and walk to dinner. I had been talking nonstop about wanting mofongo so I was happy to dive in and finally eat. We also enjoyed a much deserved beach night it was relaxing and peaceful to hear the crashing waves ... with my toes in the sand.. and my hair moving with the wind.
All was perfect till it started raining so we ran home.
The next morning trying to find an uber/ taxi around was nearly impossible. The fact that the taxi driver gave us his number saved us. He drove us to the car rental place.
Eventually we had a car and all was fine in the world... and luckily Liam was okay with driving the entire time because he knows how much I hate driving. I proudly took charge of the music and played all my annoying songs while sitting in the passenger seat singing very badly to the top of my lungs.
We headed to Old San Juan to join the crowd.
The festival had been going on for several days at this point and the day we went was the last day, hence, it was set to be the biggest day yet. I truly loved the atmosphere, the people, everyone just had this happy energy. From the tiny people, to the teens, to the adults ... everyone was dancing to the beat eating good food and just living. And I was ecstatic to be a part of this.
No cars were allowed on the streets so everyone was walking around freely. I counted about 5 stages separated throughout the city and each stage catered to different crowds. Salsa ultimately taking control of it all. I looove salsa so I was loving every second of it. My feet however were not.
We walked a lot, took a million pictures, ate a lot, danced, and enjoyed sitting down to people watch and taking in the moment and the amazing weather.
The following day we slept in and headed over to the Yunque, the national forest. The sights were unbelievable and pictures didn't do justice. We drove for the most part of it (stopping here and there for pictures) until we reached the peak and we got off to hike to the top. The hike was tons of fun and also very exhausting. I was constantly in awe of how beautiful nature truly is. We made it to the top and at one point we were on top of a rock that was basically on the clouds... I kid you not I had a tiny tiny panic attack and was on such a high. It was incredible and I cannot fully describe my emotions. Just that I was feeling extra grateful. Although I had gone through so much crap in the last couple of days it was crap that ultimately had solutions ... most people go through so much other serious crap in their lives that I'm lucky enough to have even made it to that rock.
The third day we had an all beach day (which is my dream day) Liams ... not so much. But he was a trooper because he stood by it (with the help of an umbrella). We went to Luqilllo beach which was near the Yunque. The beach only had a few people which was perfect and right behind us was a ton of restaurants (kioskos) and we even had.a server come down to the beach so we could order food/drinks. It was PERFECT ... the water was crystal clear and I was able to spot a crab.
We made it a days affair and stayed at the beach literally all day. I read a bit, drank a bit, tried the famous "bacalaitos" and fell in looove. I also didn't believe in sitting in the shade with Liam. So I got many many shades darker and my shoulders/back were burning.
The Puerto Rican sun does not play!
I had one too many bacalaitos and no other food (beer doesn't count) in my system I ended up feeling sick for the most part of the night. Not the ideal way to end the vacation. But I mean.... I guess it was full circle from how it all started haha.
We headed home the next day back to the reality of the brutal cold. But a few shades darker and with a nice painful sunburn.
This vacation was for sure filled with tons of curve balls ... but it turned into one of my favorites. It certainly made for a great story.
Sometimes it really isn't about where you are... but rather how you got there and who you're with.
Thank you Liam for being the sweetest most thoughtful travel partner. Machu Picchu will always be there and I know I'll eventually make my way there.
In the meantime I have a new adventure coming up this month... and I'm crossing my fingers nothing crazy happens this time around!!
P.S. I hope you enjoyed traveling with me. If you made it this far you must be really exhausted. I don't think I could ever make a travel post a short post since I would miss out on so many details. So again, thank you for sticking with me. It means the world.... I wish I could take all of you on vacation with me. I'm a travel mess... but I love being out of my element with my suitcase somewhere. I hope you too are out somewhere enjoying life.
Where are you from?
No, but like where?
For some reason I have always struggled with this question, why? because I am from everywhere and nowhere. I am basically a human mutt.
I'll explain what I mean ... and I'm sure some of y'all can possibly relate.
I was born in Jalisco, Mexico. However I only lived there until about age 3/4 so I don't remember much of my 3year old life (does anyone?).
I also don't go back to visit as often as I used to because most of my family members have moved away so I don't have much reason to go back. I do love the fact that I was born in Mexico I just don't feel 1000% connected to my birthplace but I am 10000% connected to my culture.
I spent my childhood years in Houston, Texas. I remember most of my life in Houston. But I left right before the end of 5th grade so I didn't get to experience much of what Houston had to offer. Besides the places my parents would take us and school field trips. And let's be honest all I ever wanted to do growing up was play with my cousins and be outside (until the streetlights came on).
I go back to Houston often to visit my family but I never actually leave my tias house because there's always something going on (and I love family time) so I still haven't gotten much of the Houston experience.
After Houston we relocated to Atlanta, Georgia and that is currently where my immediate family lives. I was finally old enough to do stuff without my parents so I've gotten to experience more of Atlanta than I did in Mexico and Houston... hence I feel more connected.
I remember when I first moved to Atlanta I hated everything about it. I hated the fact that there were trees everywhere ... like c'mon I was such a hating little girl. Now those trees are home. Even if the weather is bipolar, even if it's overcrowded, Atlanta will always feel and be like home.
Lastly, I relocated to Minnesota summer of2017 because of my job. I like to say that Minnesota chose me because as a new flight attendant you don't always get your choice of where you want to be based. My two options were Detroit or Minnesota.. so that was an easy decision. It was only supposed to be a 3 month thing ... but I ended up really enjoying my time there and I decided to adopt it as a second/third/fifth home. And I got incredibly lucky to have found an awesome roommate.
(Besides the snow) it's a wonderful place to live. People think I am crazy for moving there but I believe I made the right choice.
It also helps me separate my home life from my work life. I think I'd be having a different work experience had I stayed in Atlanta. It's silly to say but I feel way more independent and in my element when I'm in Minnesota.
So in the end... when someone asks me where I'm from I tend to say "Atlanta" all while living in Minnesota and being born in Mexico.
But that almost always prompts someone to follow up with .. but like where are you from?
Which I then believe they mean to properly ask
"where were u born?" or even
"what's your ethnicity?"
Which doesn't bother me at all.. but I think it's funny because if I didn't look like I was from another country I wouldn't get the backup question of
"no but like from where?"
On another note:
I've come to the conclusion that the two hardest things to find in the world are; a good honest man and an amazing eyebrow lady.
You just can't have both. Or in my case neither.
But if I had to choose... I'd probably choose a good man. Who knows maybe he'll know how to do my brows?
Speaking of good honest man my roommate and I had a discussion the other day (no wine included) she asked me a question that has been on my mind:
"Do you think all men cheat?"
I'm curious to know what you guys think?
What do I think?
(that's a whole different post...
PS. hope you guys are starting off the New Year strong!
I've started off my year working a lot but I'll be going on my first vacation of the year in a few days and I AM SOOO EXCITED... sorry in advance for all my future posts. Although I will try my best to post less than usual because I want to live more in the moment.
SO much happens in the course of a year and it's crazy to look back.
Most of us start the new year making plans, setting goals, dreaming of new things.
Some individuals meet and exceed the goals they set for themselves and others... forget what they even said they'd do by week two.
That's life. That's the beauty of the "New Year, New Me" concept. As cliche as it is ... we all do it (or have done it) and it will be something that will probably continue as the years go by (and there's nothing wrong with it).
I honestly fall in the category of "forgetting what I said I was going to achieve by week 2" but only because this year as bad as it sounds... I didn't set any real goals for myself.
Why? Because I really wanted to focus on living in the now.
I wanted to go with the flow and see where life took me. I wanted to live my life out in a serendipitous way.
the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. A fortunate accident.
Did it work out for me? Yes.
I feel like a better version of myself a healthier (mentally not physically haha), happier, version of Alondra. I needed this year.
I needed this year to fall in love with the same person and have my heart broken again to learn that he wasn't for me.
I needed this year to realize just how passionate I am about writing and being there for others.
I needed this year to appreciate my family and friends and the quality of my alone time.
I needed this year to step back and focus on the little things.
The problem I have with setting expectations for a New Year ... is that unexpected things happen all year round.
One of my favorite life quotes is:
"Want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans"
or in a flight attendant scenario:
"Want to get rerouted, make plans for your layover"
I am aware that not everyone likes to live such an unstructured life, trust me, it's not for everyone.
But this was my 2018 and I wouldn't have wanted it to go any other way (except maybe added more pleasure travel to my year but that'll come this new year).
One thing I did secretly want in 2018 was to find love. I was very fortunate to have my wish granted.. my nephew Matteo has been one of the greatest blessings in my life this year. There's no greater love than the love of a tiny human. So thank you to my sister and Jona for giving life to the person I never knew I needed.
P.S. I'M SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING GOING TO URUGUAY TO STEAL HIM (how dare his parents take him away on vacation without me!)
For 2019 I again do not plan to write out a list of goals. I do however have a few things I want to do before 2020 comes (OMG 2020, WRITING THAT OUT JUST LOOKS BIZARE) woah, woah....
2018 set the foundation for me personally and now 2019 should be the year to focus more on the professional side.
Just dream it and go.
(that's my mantra).
Needless to say 2019, this Modern Woman is ready for ya.
but even if I wasn't ... it's coming for me. HA
I hope you all had an amazing year. Sending lots of positivity for the start of this new one.
However let's not forget that the new year comes only once a year... but we ALWAYS get a new day. I believe that taking advantage of the new day is a hell of a lot more valuable than waiting on the new year.