Party of ONE
Let's face it .. most of us HATE the thought of going to dinner alone. I'm not talking about lunch breaks because that might actually be the only time you'd want to sit alone and enjoy the 30 minutes of freedom to chew your food in peace.
I'm talking about dressing up and going to a restaurant to enjoy your own company (YES that's possible). To enjoy a nice cold beer or a glass of wine... it's crazy that most people would rather order take out than go out on their own.
That was me.
A few months ago I caught myself scrolling through my contacts list trying to see who I could bother to come out to eat with me because I REALLLLLY wanted some beer and wings but turns out not many people are free on a random tuesday night ... or they have things called "normal jobs" ..like what is that?! So I thought of the idea of going by myself but quickly dismissed the idea because ..."what would people think?".
So I drove myself home and settled for just takeout wings and no beer.
That night I realized how much of an issue (small issue) but most certainly an issue it was. If I was willing to deprive myself of things I wanted to do simply because i didn't want to do it alone it was a HUGE problem (at least for me). As we get older everyone becomes busy with their own lives (SHOCKER) so it becomes just a little harder to always have someone to hang out with and the fact that I'm single doesn't make it any easier (I have no boyfriend i can bother to follow me around on all my crazy adventures).
So a few days later I heard a voice inside me that said "TREAT YO SELF".
and i decided to follow it. I planned a day for just me .... and it was definitely NOT awkward. It felt great to be able to enjoy my own company. Plus I noticed that going alone means getting extra attention from your server I'm guessing because they feel sorry for the lonely chick LOL (kidding).
Morale of my story is ..... you don't need anyone to have a good time. If you're like me who loves going out to see new places, trying new things, (and alone in a new city), don't sit and wait for someone to do it with. You are simply wasting precious time, get out and do it. Be comfortable with being alone ... and you'll never have a lonely day in your life.
Which bring me to my next topic: DATING ....
DON'T DO IT!
haha .. totally kidding. But seriously, what is going on in todays dating world?! It's becoming a complete joke. Everyone wants to have someone to do "stuff" with but no one wants to be in a relationship.
I get it, you must get to know the other person before deciding if you want to take it to the next level or not but theirs a limit, or at least their should be.
I'll break it down and this is all based on my inexperienced dating perspective and what I've concluded based on my friends experiences both guys and girls.
Starting off you have the: "I don't want anything serious, but we should see where this takes us"
-This my friends is the guy that just wants sex. Nothing else. (I may be wrong but I'm 97% sure this is accurate). Do not expect this guy to come to your family outings nor meet up with your friends. He's the topic of conversation with your friends at dinner.. but they've never actually met him (NOT A GOOD SIGN). If you've been seeing him for a few months and he still doesn't meet your closest girlfriends thats an automatic red flag. And I'm sure by that time your girlfriends already know he's a loser and you're too good for him.... but you are hopeful he will change his mind on the "nothing serious" part ... 9/10 he won't. Guys aren't like girls they actually mean what they say, when they say it, and they say it for a reason.
Second you have the
"I really like you, but I have a lot going on right now".
-This is the guy that really does like you and is being honest about not having much time for you right now. Which means he is trying to get his life together so theirs absolutely nothing wrong with that and i actually respect that. A guy who is working for their future is always one step ahead ... but if he likes you enough you'd think he'd want you by his side while he works on his own life, WRONG. 8/10 he's telling you they have a lot going on hence they don't want to add on anything else (and the anything else meaning YOU)... which is especially confusing if they were the ones who reached out to you first. Like, c'mon you should have thought about all the things you had going on prior to including me in your life. But i guess thats one thing, some guys don't think about that stuff.
Third you have the
"I just got out of a relationship"
-RUNNNNN away from this one. Chances are they still aren't or over it no matter how much they reassure you. You'll find yourself in a triangle where you'll be the only one left out. Don't do it. Spare yourself the heartache.
Last you have the ones that wanna date you instantly
"wanna be my girlfriend?"
-These were more common in high school but I have came across them in my "adult life" as well so they are not extinct. This is the guy that starts off sounding almost wayyyy to perfect. They make you incredibly happy and have you feeling like you just won the lottery. You are finally going on all the cute dates you had once thought about and suddenly find yourself posting on social media more pictures of you two rather than just yourself. In a short amount of time you become high off love (or whatever you think it is) and ignore the fact that you are somehow losing yourself (and your friends) to this person in such a quick time ... but you don't care because it's an amazing feeling. But then suddenly you come off the high and realize it is not all picture perfect and it takes a turn for the worst. Sometimes i feel like what starts off too fast ends fast as well... and while i am always the one to say "go for it" it's hard to avoid these and it's really all about chances you may be genuine with your feelings but the other person may not be. So I always say keep one eye open, not everyone who appears to have a kind heart has good intentions.
Theirs a million more scenarios but y'all get my point. Dating isn't what it used to be (not that I know what it used to be ... but according to the adults). Our generation has forgotten what it is to date and i am quite over it. Not saying I'm no longer open to dating but I'm no longer wasting my time on people not worth spending time on. Which brings me back to my party of one scenario. I'm no longer shy to do things on my own.. and to be quite honest it feels a tad bit empowering.
As a girl I challenge any guy or girl reading this to leave that girl/guy alone who you see NO future with. Especially if you see the other person doing fine on their own, don't disturb their peace for your own selfish entertainment.
PS. Thanks for continuing to read my crazy long thoughts. Reading the sweet comments of you guys enjoying my blogs makes me incredibly happy. <3