Lets talk love languages
Based on my observations I've realized that I write and upload the most when I am:
A: alone with a lot of time on my hands
B: sad/ upset
C: all of the above
With that being said I'd like to apologize for my lack of writing ...
I've had drafts sitting on my website waiting for me to post but I just wasn't content with what I'd written. I preferred to delete and start from scratch on a different topic that has been sitting on my mind for some days.
Once again, thank you for sticking with me and my inconsistency ... it means THE WORLD TO ME.
BTW (by the way), this blog is officially two years old :)
Let's get started.
My entire life .. I've been obsessed with love.. but it's never made much sense to me. Recently, I discovered that love is a language and you have to learn how to speak it in order for things to flow... believe it or not not everyone speaks the same love language.
All together theirs a total of 5 love languages :
Everyones order is different (the way it's listed above are my actual results).. theirs an online quiz that you take to figure out which love language speaks to you the most ..
I've taken the quiz twice and my results have shifted based on my lifestyle.
Let's brake them down.
I know you're thinking...
"GIRLLLLL they're pretty self explanatory", well yeah, but they all have a few things we can all learn from, myself included.
For the sake of not having to speak in third person the entire post (it drives me crazy) I'll be applying each love language directly to my life and you can do the same as you read along.
Time is one of the few things we can NEVER get back... so when someone decides that I am worthy of their time, I am grateful and appreciative. It makes me feel loooved.
You can tell me all day long how much you "miss me" but if you're not going to show up in the middle of the night and knock on my window.... that I miss you has little to no affect on me.
Nothing tells me that someone loves me more than some good old quality time. By quality time I don't necessarily mean it has to be an entire day.. or that I want you next to me 24/7, no no... quality over quantity.
Acts of Service:
I NEVER and by never I mean NEVER wash my car. My family knows this ...
I once left my car at my parents house when I was gone on vacation.. upon my return I returned to a spotless car. This was my dads way of telling me he loves me and I heard that loud and clear.
Acts of service can be a bit tricky... because love doesn't have to be a "well if you love me you have to wash my car" type of thing... the act has to come from the heart... if it's done simply because we keep asking (or nagging) then it has a different approach and it's not always a positive one.
The way I see this is ... you do something without expecting anything in return ... but if something is done for you.. pay it forward. It's a win win for everyone.
Love is a balance... one side can't always be the one holding all the weight down (it'll get tired eventually).
Words of Affirmation:
Words have always been just that for me.. WORDS. Words can have little to no impact on a person depending on the way you choose to express them.
If you're constantly making plans with me and bailing last minute ... an "i'm sorry" or "I will make it up to you"... solves nothing.
"I will make it up to you" are simply words with no attached actions so all it is to me is a blank statement with false hope.
However, whether I like to admit it or not, words do have power. As a female getting the occasional reassurance of an "I love you" means a lot after having a long day. Or hearing the words "I'm proud of you" can make a huge difference on how I'm feeling.
Again, it's all about how you say it and when you say it. It's also important to speak from the heart and be genuine... always genuine.
Believe it or not ... not all of us are huggers (I am).
Growing up in a hispanic household means saying hello and goodbye to a full house of aunts and uncles with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Good luck to you if you're the last one to arrive. to the party... lol.
Physical touch doesn't necessarily have to be a sexual touch.
Most of us express our love and affection to friends and family by a simple hug. When someone close to us is going through a tough time .. sometimes the only way we can express our love is through a hug and sometimes that's all they need.
In a relationship hand holding is a huge deal for me. It shows the perfect amount of affection without giving off too much. Every time I see and elderly couple holding hands... it melts my heart.
I've never been a materialistic type of girl and at this point I don't think I will ever be.
However, receiving or giving gifts doesn't have to break your bank account.
When I travel I typically am not one to go souvenir shopping (i'd rather spend 97% of my time sight seeing)... but if I see something that reminds me of someone and I know it will make them happy, I feel the need to make the purchase.. because of the feeling I will get by giving the gift.
A gift symbolizes that at some point someone was thinking about you and it was in their heart to give.
I don't believe that giving or receiving gifts should be the only reason to stay with someone.
Gifts can't feel the void of an empty heart.
"You can speak all 5 love languages to your significant other.... but if you're not speaking to them in their primary love language... chances are they don't feel as loved as they should"
(this is one of the quotes that stood out to me the most from the entire book).
No matter your relationship status I suggest you take the quiz and figure out your love language. If you're in a relationship I suggest you make them take the quiz as well... learn to speak each others love languages.
9/10 I can assure you if you guys are struggling it will make you stronger. If you're not struggling it will only make things better.
Call me a hopeless romantic... but I believe in all things love.
Again, thank you, thank you for joining me to talk about love.
I love you guys,
A hopeless romantic
NOTE: All of my research is from a book I read by Gary Chapman "The 5 Love Languages for Singles"
this book breaks down all the languages in perfect detail. I recommend EVERYONE to pick one of these books up it's definety worth the read. You can take the quiz prior to reading the book
PS: if you take the quiz you should share with me your love language... !
Also, he has different versions of this book for different individuals (check them out)!