Let's tacobout' love
"Are good guys really extinct or are we simply pushing them away?"
I've asked myself this question multiple times within the last week and I cannot find a solid answer. So .... as I do best, I'll sort my feelings out in a very quiet place so the world can read.
Yes, I know, here I go talking about love and feelings all over again. Truth is, I am a hopeless romantic. I'll talk about wanting to find love while I'm as single as a dollar bill and I'll talk about being in love whenever it is that love comes my way.... that's just me!
So let's do it ... LET'S TACOBOUT' LOVE.
Let's start with what I define as a "good guy"... my definition may be very poor compared to others but here it is:
.... truthfully the list can go on and on.. but we all get it.
Honestly, no girl is really looking for Mr. Perfect.. if someone was to give me a magic wand and say "ALONDRA, today is the day you'll create your perfect man"... i'd create the ideal man for me and two weeks later i'd be asking for the same magic wand to make some adjustments..... (that was a bit exaggerated but y'all get my point). As humans we are constantly changing and if you started dating your significant other during your younger years chances are you both have evolved together or grown apart, it's part of life.
So, back to my question .. are the good guys extinct? or are we pushing them away in hopes of finding someone better?
What is better?
Better for me .. is not necessarily a more successful guy vs someone who doesn't have it all figured out. Nor someone who's better looking.
Better is ...
... someone who I cannot wait to see just seconds after leaving their side.
... someone who I don't necessarily have to talk to 24/7 but I know I can always call when I'm excited about something or upset about another thing.
...someone who I can do nothing with and it'll feel like the best day ever.
...someone who I can travel with for the rest of my life and never get sick of or simply go on target runs just because.
Of course most of these things are just part of the "honeymoon phase" but being the hopeless romantic that I am .. if I don't feel that from the beginning .. it won't happen .. and I won't force it.
I've ran into a couple of good guys within my recent years of dating .. and although they could have been perfect... i'm in search of my "better".
I guess the answer for me is simple... "Good guys AREN'T extinct ... I'm simply pushing them away in hopes to find my "better ".
This brings me to my second question:
"How much time do you WANT to waste?!"
I'm not by any means considering love to be a waste of time.
However, the dating world does come with constant ticking bombs... some of us know we only have two seconds left of the bomb before it explodes so we let it go... others see the timer and they keep finding temporary solutions to stop the bomb from going off.
But no matter how hard you're trying you know in the back of your mind that the bomb is going to explode...
This is where the question comes up: HOW MUCH TIME ARE YOU WILLING TO WASTE when you see the timer go off? A week, a month, two years, five?! ...
When is it enough?
Is it always worth it?
Do people really change?
Does it get better?
I can't speak for everyone but most of the time the answers all lead to the same answer. NO, LET IT GO.. MOVE ON.
but that's just me.
The reason why all of this has been on my mind recently is because in search of my "better" I have found myself being a lot more picky and straight to the point with whoever it is that comes into my life.
I feel like that is how it should be. If people would start being honest and straight up with feelings less people would get hurt and more people would start moving on...
If you're honest with a person and they decide to stick around... at that point you handed them the ticking bomb and its up to them if they want to hold onto it.
But if you're stringing someone along so both of you can be miserable together... that's not okay.
Which brings me to my last question:
Would you rather be alone and happy? or miserable with someone?
Although the obvious answer would be alone and happy....
I find it's easier said than done. After all .."misery loves company"
Why? because the mentality is .... how do I know I'll be happy alone? what if it's worse?
Short answer to that is ... it'll only be worse if you want it to be.
So join me and stop settling and we can all find our better together. Theirs lots of wine, coffee shops, and exploring involved.
If you don't find your better... just know that at least you'll find yourself, just as I have.