I was excited for you for a very long time, then as you approached I became terrified.
25, am I supposed to be married by now?
am I supposed to have it all figured out by now?
I thought I would be .. back when I was 15. It all seemed so easy. It all seemed to make sense,
Who created these unrealistic statistics? Why did I believe that it was the "norm"?
Well simply because their was probably a time period where by 25... you were married.. you had kids... and you "somewhat" had it all figured out.
Or at least that's what they made it out to be.
Truth is, I am a true millennial.
I don't have it all figured out.
I rely on social media... to feel better about myself (not always but sometimes).
and marriage is so far fetched from my actual reality it is laughable to even talk about what kind of wedding dress I want... (although I still fantasize about it).
This is my reality:
I am a 25 year old ....
Who.. hates responsibility but has taken care of herself for as long as I can remember (with support of family and friends).
Who.. falls in love deeply and gets hurt a million times (but never gives up on it).
Who.. dreams big and always tries to look at the bigger picture.
Who.. believes people can change.
Who.. is insecure yet confident.
Who.. loves books, classical music, writing, and wine.
Who.. loves to go on walks without a set destination.
Who.. loves being surrounded by loved ones.. but enjoys being alone.
Who.. isn't afraid of getting lost.
a 25 year old who is still learning, growing, and making mistakes.
I started writing this the night before my birthday.
I was crying hysterically ... Why I'm not sure.
It's just age why was I so caught up in my emotions?
My guess is because it goes deeper than just age.
Until your 21st birthday everything is pretty much structured for you ... you follow the unspoken guidelines (well at least I did. I was never one to break rules).
This is somewhat how my structure is going:
At 15 I was finally allowed to have a boyfriend and wear eyeliner.
At 17 I graduated HighSchool and moved out of my parents home.
THIS IS WHERE THE CONFUSING PART OF LIFE BEGINS (for most of us).
At 18 I was enjoying the freedom, the college life, the clubs.
At 21 I was doing everything I was doing at 19 but in a 2.0 version.
At 22 I was lost and confused.
WHO AM I? WHAT DO I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE... ?WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?!
At 24 I was living my best life and learning so much about myself.
At 25 ....... that's another story to tell.
The whole point to this post... is that it's okay to feel afraid.
It's okay to feel.
It's okay to cry (for no reason sometimes).
Just don't sit on those feelings for too long. Move on and do something about them.
I have to constantly remind myself that WHO CARES what other people are doing.
Keep up with your own pace. Be happy with your own life and stop competing.
Life isn't a competition. We need to stop being our own worst enemies.
Success isn't measured by comparing bank accounts..
it isn't measured by how single you are or how in love you are.
It's all internal.
Love yourself, do the right thing, take long baths (with bath bombs), read good books, drink good wine...
and remember after 21.... age is nothing but a number !!
Thank you for reading my rambling,
I love you all